


How Did I Fall in Love With You

by Boxstorm



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boy Band, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-01 06:56:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4010194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boxstorm/pseuds/Boxstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers, America's hottest new band, are coming to New York for a seven-day stay on their cross-country tour. SHIELD Security has been hired to ensure the band's safety following an unfortunate incident with a shoe. If only Phil could stop acting like one of the band's tween fans whenever confronted with one Clint Barton...</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Did I Fall in Love With You

Phillip J Coulson is a thirty-five year old man with a two bedroom condominium, a full-time job with a private security agency, and a six-figure income. He shops at Whole Foods, his suits are Bespoke, and sitting in his indoor parking space is a 1962 cherry red corvette. All of this to say that Phil Coulson is not currently, and never has been, the target demographic for chart-topping, five-member boy bands.

Which is why it's nothing short of ludicrous that when the latest craze, The Avengers (and what a stupid name for a band) appears while Phil is channel surfing, he actually stops to watch for a moment. And then longer than a moment. Phil isn't blind; he can see why each of these men was chosen for the group. There are two giant blondes on either end, both in tight tank tops, and for good reason. The man on the left is smaller, shorter, but no less impressively muscular, with dark hair and a stylistic goatee. The lithe black man in the centre seems to be the front man, carrying the melody of whatever cookie-cutter bubblegum pop tween girls are into these days, but it's the man to the right who catches Phil's attention and keeps it. This man is also blonde, dressed in a tight purple t-shirt and dark jeans that Phil notes hug his ass in just the right way as the group's choreography turns them around on stage. The man moves with a sinful sort of grace and when he gets a split-second solo, his smooth tenor is stunning. The man winks at the camera with dark-lined eyes before it cuts back to the frontman for the conclusion of the number.

The music, if it can even be called that, is nothing close to what Phil would normally choose to listen to, and he resolves to watch any future performances on mute, but it does not escape him that he's resolved to watch.

 

The next time Phil manages to catch The Avengers, he's channel-surfing while on the phone with his coworker, Jasper. Phil makes an undignified noise, flipping back a station and vaulting over the back of his couch to see if he can catch a glimpse of the one he likes. It takes Phil a moment to register that Jasper is laughing at him over the phone.

"What the hell was that?" Jasper asks when he finally gets his breathing back under control.

"Shut up, Jasper." Phil says, "what if I was being attacked?"

Phil vaguely registers that Jasper has a response to that, but the camera has just cut to the right and Phil loses any ability to concentrate as his man does a slow, languid hip roll. A moment later, Phil realises with a start that he's started to refer to the man as 'his'. Another moment later, Phil realises that Jasper has gotten bored and hung up on him.

 

Phil and Jasper are quite a bit drunker than either of them should be, considering it's a weeknight, but they had spent the day providing additional security for a Be the Next Child Star event at a local mall, and some things just inevitably lead to heavy drinking. They've been watching the football game, more for something to have in the background than because either of them are particularly interested, and as the station moves on to the local news, Jasper reaches for the remote, likely to search for one of the reality shows the two had bonded over in their early days with SHIELD Security.

Phil leans back, closing his eyes and letting his head drop to the back of the couch, just in time to hear the perky news anchor say something about The Avengers. She's cut off halfway through the next word as Jasper begins his hunt, but Phil squawks and lunges gracelessly for the remote, flipping back to the news in time to hear the anchor say with clearly faked enthusiasm that The Avengers will be playing a solid week of shows in New York, and that tickets will go on sale on Sunday at midnight.

The show cuts to an interview with The Avengers that had recently conducted on an LA morning show. Phil leans back in his seat slowly, conscious of the fact that he's just shown his hand to a man with no qualms about teasing him into next week, but Jasper makes no move to change the channel, and Phil ignores him in favour of collecting information about the men in the band. The frontman is apparently Sam Wilson who, to Phil's surprise, did two tours in Iraq before becoming a member of a boy band. One of the blonde beefcakes, Steve Rogers is also a veteran, and the two seem very close from what Phil can see. The other blonde, Thor talks about his home country with impressive passion, and even Jasper seems to be getting into the interview by the time Tony Stark, dark-hair-goatee, reveals that he has a masters in theoretical physics from M.I.T. By the time the interviewer moves on  to the final member, Clint Barton, Phil is expecting something spectacular. The other band members have surprised him with their pasts and their accomplishments, and none of them are his favourite so whatever Barton has done, whatever he is capable of, must be incredible. Barton smiles politely at the interviewer as she comments on the varied pasts of his bandmates, but Phil can see a sudden, swift change in Barton's demeanor as the interviewer asks her question.

"So what about you, Clint?" She asks, grinning brightly, "Tell us about your childhood."

Barton's face shuts down immediately into a blank mask. He stands abruptly, removes his microphone and drops it unceremoniously on his seat as he calmly stalks off set.

Phil is pleased to see that the other four band members are staring at the interviewer in barely-hidden anger as she tries to cover for herself.

"I'd like everyone at home to know that we explicitly stated we would not answer any questions about Clint's childhood." Steve says calmly over the interviewer, "It's a subject he's not comfortable discussing with strangers and we ask that he be respected."

"I think this interview is over." Sam adds, standing to remove his own microphone.

The clip cuts back to the news anchor who makes a trite comment about "tension" in the interview, then plugs The Avengers' show again before moving on to coverage of a protest at a local bakery.

Phil and Jasper sit quietly for a moment before Jasper breaks the silence with a snort and a "really, Phil?"

 

 

Phil is sitting at his desk, working very hard at ignoring Jasper as he flutters his eyelashes at Phil and simpers in mock admiration of The Avengers and their "glorious biceps", and trying to decide whether he's pathetic enough to buy tickets to one of the shows, when he and Jasper are both interrupted by Maria Hill. She pokes her head into Phil and Jasper's shared office, raises an eyebrow at the face Jasper is currently making (lips puckered and eyes wide behind his glasses) before informing both of them that they've all been summoned to a meeting.

Phil and Jasper dutifully follow Maria down the hall to the conference room where they are greeted by both the director of their firm Nick Fury and a tall, slim, strawberry blonde stranger.

Phil and Jasper slide into seats at the end of the table just as Jimmy Woo shuts the door to begin the meeting.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Nick starts, "This is Miss Virginia Potts. She's come to us with a somewhat unique security challenge that I want you all to have some input on before we finalize the plan. Miss Potts?" Fury gestures to the woman who smiles in a way that's eerily reminiscent of a shark before clicking the lights off with a handheld switch and firing up a projector embedded in the ceiling.

"Like Nick said, my name is Miss Potts, and I have a particular challenge for what I have been assured is the top private security firm in New York." Miss Potts clicks to begin her presentation and Phil has to cover an embarrassing noise by turning it into a cough. The first slide is  picture of The Avengers from their last show in Pittsburgh.

Jasper snorts loudly into the ensuing silence and Phil, somewhat petulantly, kicks him under the table.

"Are we done, gentlemen?" Miss Potts asks.

Phil nods, having momentary flashbacks to his third grade teacher. Jasper seems to feel similarly, and Miss Potts nods in satisfaction.

Miss Potts explains that she is the public relations manager for The Avengers,and that she is looking for security for their upcoming shows in New York and potentially for the remainder of the tour. She clicks her remote again and the screen shows an image of Steve getting hit in the face with a shoe. Jasper snorts again, but Miss Potts simply rolls her eyes in his direction and explains that their previous security had been let go following the shoe incident.

Miss Potts' presentation covers what she expects from her security staff (perfection, apparently), the layout of the venue, and the schedule the band members will be keeping to, then she opens the floor to input from the SHIELD staff.

Maria instantly jumps in with several suggestions that immediately ingratiate herself with Miss Potts, and by the end of the meeting Maria is being asked over for coffee and told to call Miss Potts "Pepper". Phil and Jasper are still getting raised eyebrows, though several of their ideas were jotted down in Miss Potts' master plan, and the smile Miss Potts shoots the two of them as she leaves seems more genuine than when they had entered.

Phil counts it as a win.

 

The next few weeks are caught up in planning for one of the largest security details SHIELD has ever been hired for, to the point that Phil doesn’t have any time to contemplate the fact that in less than one month, he will be in the same room as Clint Barton, and be expected to maintain his professionalism the entire time. By the time they’re one week away from the first show, and five days away from the arrival of the band, the entire agency, as well as Miss Potts are exhausted.

Phil is sitting at his desk with his head down, half asleep when Maria pokes her head in and snorts.

“You look like you could use a coffee.” she says, matter-of-factly, walking over and flicking Phil on the forehead.

“I could use about a week of sleep.” Phil says, frowning up at her without raising his head, “But since that’s unlikely to happen, I suppose a coffee would do.”

“Come on, then.” Maria says, “Pepper and I were headed to the bar downstairs. I’ll let her know you’re joining us.”

"Alcohol isn't coffee." Phil says, frowning, but he follows her anyway. A beer wouldn't be a bad idea right now either.

 

Pepper turns out to be both incredibly sweet when off the job, and a wealth of information on the band members, which Maria has been taking advantage of for the last few weeks, it seems.

"Tell Phil about the glitter" Maria cackles gleefully over the top of her third whiskey.

"Oh God, the glitter!" Pepper laughs,"okay, so this is in the guys townhouse in L.A., and Tony decides he wants to play some pranks he remembers from his fraternity days. Keep in mind, Tony is the only one who was ever in a frat. So Tony starts pulling what I'm assured is 'all the usual pranks, come on Pepper!', though I was in an academic sorority so I wouldn't know, but he guys don't seem to mind too much."

"Until the glitter" Maria supplies helpfully.

"Until the glitter." Pepper agrees, "Apparently one of the classic frat pranks is to put glitter on the blades of a ceiling fan so that when it's turned on, the room is showered in it. Unfortunately, Tony completely forgot that he'd done this to Clint, because Clint likes the heat and never uses his fan. So finally, the guys are all out drinking one night and Clint decides he's going to bring home this girl, gorgeous blonde by the way, Clint has great taste in ladies, and they're lying there, stark naked, and she decides she's too warm, so Clint goes to turn on the fan, and they both get absolutely coated in glitter!"

Pepper and Maria dissolve into giggles again, but Phil is distracted by the fact that, surprise, he's fallen for yet another straight man.

 

Thankfully for Phil, the reminder that he stands no chance whatsoever, combined with the flurry of activity over the next few days means he makes it to the day of the band's arrival without incident. SHIELD are expected to meet the band at the airport, and ensure they make it to their hotel safely, where SHIELD will continue to provide both personal security and additional security for the building itself.

Phil troops into the conference room with the rest of his team for their final assignments. The junior members SHIELD will,be providing building security while Phil, Maria, Jasler, Jimmy and Nick are tasked with individually ensuring the safety of one band member each.  It's with a sinking feeling that Phil watches as Nick is paired with Steve, Maria with Sam, and Jasper with Tony. The last of Phil's hope is crushed as the final assignments are handed out, and even the image of tiny Jimmy trying to corral the giant that is Thor doesn't distract Phil from the fact that he has been assigned as Clint Barton's personal security for at least the next nine days.

 

Picking the band members up at the airport goes about as well as could be expected. The junior security agents offer some modicum of crowd control, holding back swarms of screaming teenage fans while Phil and his senior co workers are led to the private plane The Avengers were flown in on. Phil is expecting a brief, professional meet-and-greet followed by a quick dash to the waiting cars out front.

Instead, Phil is greeted by one of the loudest spectacles he's ever been pushed into the middle of.

Tony and Steve are standing on opposite sides of the cabin, both yelling at the same time, while Thor chimes in on either side of the argument as he sees fit. Sam is sitting off to one side, with a book and Phil has to admit to being impressed that he can read in the midst of this much noise.

"I don't care if you think it was funny," Steve is yelling, "if you know someone is nervous flying you do not tell them we're going to crash!"

"Bruce understands." Tony replies with a nonchalant shrug, "unlike some people, Bruce can take a joke!"

"Bruce 'understands' because he's too nice to argue, Tony!" Steve retorts.

"I wish someone else was too nice to argue, too." Tony replies petulantly before finally being cut off by Clint sitting up from one of the seats at the front and glaring at all of them over the back of his chair.

"Fucking hell you guys, even I can hear you." He says loudly into the ensuing silence, "you're making us look bad in front of our guests." He adds, noticing the SHIELD crew standing awkwardly by the door.

Sam laughs out loud as both Tony and Steve turn sheepish looks towards their new security detail.

Phil is suddenly very pleased that he's been assigned to one of the cooler heads in the group.

"Gentlemen." Pepper says, a small, indulgent smirk playing at the corners of her mouth, "If you have a moment I'd like to introduce you to your new security detail."

Pepper goes through the group quickly and efficiently, pairing up each SHIELD worker with his or her assigned Avenger before having  brief and somewhat heated discussion with Tony. She rolls her eyes, tells him he's an idiot, then heads into the cockpit where Phil catches sight of a slightly older man with dark curly hair and glasses. Phil hs time to wonder if perhaps that man is Bruce before Clint clears his throat and gains Phil's attention.

"What did Pepper say your name was?" Clint asks, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, "I don't have my 'aids in..."

"It's Phil." Phil sys, giving himself time to figure out what Clint means by 'aids. It hits him a moment later and he chuckles as he says without thinking, "that's probably a good call, given the noise level."

Clint barks out a startled laugh and replies with, "I like you. You can stay."

Phil is, despite his best efforts, inordinately pleased by this.

 

Phil and Clint make it to the hotel without incident, although Phil does have to ask one young woman to please put her shirt back on. Phil has Clint wait in the hotel lobby with two junior SHIELD workers while he goes up to ensure the room is safe.

The room itself is a gorgeous top-floor suite with a small kitchen, living area, and two bedrooms with private bathrooms. Phil will be expected to stay here with Clint in case of any issues outside of normal work hours. All in all it’s certainly not the worst accommodations Phil has been provided with.

His sweep turns up nothing out of the ordinary and Phil calls down to have the junior workers escort Clint upstairs.

Phil has started unpacking his clothing by the time Clint enters the suite with a rough whistle that causes a low thrum of heat to spread through Phil’s body. Phil shakes it off and makes his way to the living room to greet Clint and see if he needs anything.

“Nice digs.” Clint says, grinning at Phil and dropping his bags on the floor by the door.

“I’ve seen worse.” Phil agrees, leaning against the doorframe to his room.

“I can’t believe Pep is making you guys stay on site.” Clint says, shaking his head and dropping onto the couch, “You’ve probably got a family waiting at home for you.”

“It’s part of the job.” Phil says with a shrug, instead of confirming or denying the statement, “I’ve got this room, so if you need anything just let me know.” he adds.

“I should be fine for tonight.” Cint says with a shrug of his own, “Am I allowed to get ice without you or do I need an escort?” He grins as though having an escort would be ridiculous, but Phil has definitely been an escort for trips to ice machines, or neighbouring rooms, or on one notable occasion, bathrooms. In Clint’s case, they’ve rented out all rooms on this floor of the hotel so a trip to the ice machine should be safe, and Phil says as much.

Clint nods in agreement and tells Phil he’ll be back in a few, and Phil takes the opportunity afforded him to continue unpacking without interruption.

 

The Avengers have a promotional interview first thing in the morning, which thankfully goes off without a hitch, thanks predominantly to Pepper’s hard work. The men are then given the afternoon off before they’re expected at the concert venue for a dress rehearsal after dinner.

Phil follows Clint to the interview, watching from the green room with Jasper, Nick, Maria and Jimmy.

The interviewer sticks to the approved questions, and Clint is able to reveal that he used be an archery instructor. Which explains the biceps, Phil thinks before he can stop himself. Clint also talks a bit about being a singer with a hearing impairment, and he grins brightly when the interviewer signs the next question to the group as she asks it out loud.

Following  quick commercial break, the Avengers perform an acapella version of one of their more popular singles. Without the musical backing, Phil can tell that Clint has difficulty hitting some of the notes, but it doesn’t seem to affect the overall sound.

After a few more questions the guys tumble back into the green room in a flurry of post-performance endorphins. Clint is grinning, and rubbing at the back of his neck, moaning about interviewers who make them sing without backup.

“You sounded fine!” Steve says, slapping him on the shoulder, at exactly the same moment that Tony says “You can’t sing for shit, Barton.”

Clint laughs, grabs Steve’s bicep for a moment then replies to Tony with a, “Not true. My whale song is excellent.”

This seems to be some sort of inside joke as all five Avengers double over in laughter.

“No human should sound like that during sex!” Sam manages through the giggles, and that explains that. In addition to giving Phil something else to pointedly try to avoid thinking about.

 

Clint opts to spend the rest of the day napping. He says, with a yawn, that he’s making up for all the sleep he’s missed while on tour. Phil decides to get some of his paperwork out of the way and sets himself up at the small table in the kitchen.

Phil realises several hours later that for the last forty-five minutes he hasn’t gotten a damn thing done, distracted by Clint’s quiet snoring from the next room. Phil shakes his head to clear it, and puts the coffee pot on, hoping that a cup will help him focus.

What happens instead is that Clint, apparently trained to wake to the smell of coffee, wanders out into the common area of their suite in a pair of loose jogging bottoms and nothing else, running a hand through his hair like he doesn’t know it makes him look like a wet dream.

Phil turns around before his eyes can roam any further, and silently reminds himself of three solid facts. One, that Clint is, as per Pepper’s drunken storytelling, entirely into women. Two, that Clint is twenty-six, entirely too young for Phil’s thirty-five. And Three, that Phil is currently at work and the fact that he even has to remind himself of these three facts is highly unprofessional.

“Fuck, is that coffee?” Clint asks, his voice hoarse with sleep, punctuated with a quiet groan.

Phil instantly goes through his three facts a second time, and then a third time before he’s able to turn around with his bland Security-Man smile in place.

“Would you like some?” Phil asks mildly, though it’s pretty clear that Clint, in his current state, might actually kill a man for a mug.

Clint doesn't reply verbally, instead making grabby hands at Phil and dragging himself across the room into the tiny kitchen. Phil presses a mug of coffee into Clint's open hands, then turns to pour his own before he can watch the way Clint inhales the steam off the top with a look of pure bliss. Clint's erotic groan following his first sip is harder to block out.

"This is amazing," Clint says emphatically, "Marry me."

"I can't get the time off work for a shotgun wedding." Phil quips.

He's perhaps too proud of the fact that he didn't just say 'yes'.

 

The dress rehearsal is uneventful, and Phil spends most of it going over the venue's security measures with his team, ensuring that the junior security knows where to be and when. He catches snippets of singing and background music and conversation and for a brief moment some of Steve yelling at Tony for yet another prank-gone-wrong. Before anyone else can say anything, Pepper surges up onto the stage and lays into both of them, giving a lecture on time wasting that Phil's mother would have been proud of.

The show the following night is much the same, although this time Phil is expected to stand to the side of the stage, ready to ensure Clint can exit unimpeded at the end of the show, and during his breaks.

After the first five numbers, Sam gets a solo and the other four men tumble off stage and are escorted back to their dressing rooms for a quick costume change. Clint and Tony are sharing a room, separated with several partitions placed about in strategic positions to allow for a modicum of privacy. Phil and Jasper stand to the side, as Clint and Tony toss pants and shirts over the top of their respective partitions.

"Shit." Clint says suddenly, "Phil, could you grab the jeans on the couch for me?"

Phil freezes in the middle of a sentence, not quite remembering what he was trying to tell Jasper as he flushes five shades of pink and casts about for the jeans in question.

Jasper huffs a laugh at Phil, and grabs the jeans from the back of the couch, handing them over to Phil with a knowing smirk. Phil takes them and holds them out around the side of the partition, turning his face away so as to avoid peeking. Phil feels Clint's hand brush over Phil's, warm and rough and calloused in strange places that Phil thinks are likely due to the archery. Clint's hand may linger a moment longer than necessary, but Phil isn't sure, and pulls his own hand back as soon as he is sure that Clint has the pants firmly.

A moment later, Clint and Tony are ready to return to the stage and Phil and jasper follow dutifully behind, Jasper digging his elbow pointedly into Phil's side the whole way.

"What?" Phil finally hisses as Clint and Tony jog back into the spotlight and Phil and Jasper come to stand in the wings.

"I was just teasing before," Jasper says with a shrug, "but you really like this guy, don't you?"

"No I don't." Phil replies instantly. "I'm just doing my job. Shut up." He adds as Jasper laughs.

"Shut up!" Jimmy hisses as he comes to join them and Thor bounds back onto the stage to join the others.

Jasper shrugs again, but grins at Phil every time he looks over, periodically making lewd gestures that absolutely do not make Phil blush, no matter what Nick says later.

 

Phil's life becomes a steady pattern of watching The Avengers complete interviews in the morning, practices in the afternoon, and performances in the evening, usually followed by drunken carousing late into the night, only to wake up on far too little sleep and do it all again. Clint's insistence on napping whenever given the chance starts to make far more sense in light of the week Phil is having, and the next time they get a few hours free, Phil follows suit and naps as well, trying to ensure that he will be awake enough to last through the performance that evening.

Their pattern is broken, in spectacular and surprising fashion the morning of their final performance during an interview for one of the entertainment shows that Phil tries to avoid watching. The interviewer either has not read their list of acceptable questions, or he simply does not care. Phil sees a concerning glint in the interviewer's eye as he turns to Clint, and the grin he's sporting becomes nothing short of predatory.

"So Clint," the interviewer says, false cheer dripping from every word, "we all know you're uncomfortable talking about your childhood,"

Phil sees Clint stiffen. Sam grips the arms of his chair tightly, Steve and Thor lean forward in their seats, and Tony makes eye contact with Pepper, and appears to have some sort of silent conversation with her in a matter of seconds as the interviewer pauses for effect.

"Why is that?" The interviewer finishes.

"I'd rather not say." Clint grinds out between his teeth.

"Is that because of the abuse at the hands of your father, or because of your time spent in the orphanage?" The interviewer manages to ask, before all hell breaks loose.

"Where the fuck did you hear that?" Clint yells, as Sam adds "What the hell is wrong with you?" And Steve and Thor leap to their feet.

Jimmy and Nick surge into action, placing firm hands on Steve and Thor before they can do anything they'll regret, while Pepper nods firmly and unplugs something, sending the studio into half-darkness as the stage lighting shuts off. Phil hurries out onto the set, grabbing Clint by the arm and forcibly dragging him from in front of the cameras.

"We're leaving." Phil tells him, pulling the microphone from the front of Clint's shirt and dropping it on the floor behind them.

Phil is, for lack of a better word, enraged on Clint's behalf. It's apparent that there was at least some truth to what the interviewer had said, to gain that strong a reaction, and Phil can't believe that someone would be manipulative enough to drag that out in front of a studio audience.

Phil gets a call from Nick just as he and Clint are getting into their waiting car.

"Are you out of the building?" Nick asks, without preamble.

"Yes, sir." Phil replies, "I thought it best to get Clint out before anything more could happen."

"I'm not arguing, Coulson." Nick says with a sigh, and Phil realises that he may be feeling slightly defensive at the moment, "Stark has called in a few of his lawyer buddies from college, and Pepper is currently giving a lecture on respect. The interviewer looks like he's about to piss himself. Can't say I blame him either."

"I find it hard to be sympathetic." Phil replies.

"Not saying I sympathize, but Pepper is a frightening little thing." Nick says, "At any rate, Pepper says to take Clint back to the hotel and give him the afternoon off. They can't cancel this evening's performance at this point, but it's the last one so she hopes Clint can get through it."

"I'll make sure of it, Sir." Phil says.

"I know you will." Nick says.

Phil isn't sure if Nick thinks that highly of his professional abilities, or if he's teasing, but either way, Phil has other things to worry about for the moment.

 

Clint does manage through the show, and seems in much better spirits by the time he exits the stage for the final time. There are plans to celebrate the successful completion of the New York leg of the tour, and Phil thinks for a moment that Clint may not want to participate; may want to go straight to bed and forget the whole day. Phil would if it were him, at any rate. But Clint grins when Thor announces that he has "purchased a mighty haul of drinks and we shall toast our good fortune!", and everyone ends up back in Thor's hotel room an hour later.

By the time Phil and Clint arrive, Tony and Sam are well on their way to drunk, and Clint grabs the first bottle he finds in an attempt to catch up. Steve, apparently, doesn't drink,but he oversees the others with a sort of fond exasperation as they get more and more ridiculous.

Thor, for his part, is the loudest of the bunch, telling stories that Phil is sure can't be true, but which are entertaining nonetheless.

By the time the impromptu party begins to wind down, Sam is dozing on the couch, Steve is half-carrying, half-dragging Tony towards the door, and Thor is telling stories of his latest trip home at a volume that even Phil considers reasonable.

Clint, leaning heavily against the kitchen counter, is all warm, loose limbs and easy smiles, most of which are directed at Phil, who isn't quite sure what he's doing to warrant them, but is trying very hard not to stop doing it. Clint leans forward into Phil's space, swaying slightly until his face is right next to Phil's and before Phil has a chance to step back, Clint is speaking.

"I have a few beers back in my room." Clint says, his voice deep and rough and a little bit breathy.

"If you'd like to go back to your room for the night, that's fine." Phil says, diplomatically. Clint is trying his resolve, but Phil is still determined to remain professional.

"Come on." Clint says, grinning wider and grabbing Phil by the hand to drag him from the room.

Phil is fairly sure he hears Jimmy laughing at him, but he can't be sure, and then the door is shutting behind them and Clint is dragging him down the hall.

"Wait here." Clint says, shutting the door to his room and holding Phil by the shoulders for a moment to ensure he stays still.

When satisfied that Phil will be there when he gets back, Clint disappears into his room for a moment. Phil hears a worrying crash, but Clint reappears a moment later, looking no worse for wear, and carrying a six-pack in one hand.

Clint falls onto the couch, sprawling with his legs spread and one arm draped across the back. He grins lazily at Phil, tipping his head down and looking up through his lashes as he pats the seat next to him in invitation.

"I should go to bed." Phil says quietly, slowly, forcing the words out even though there is nowhere he would rather be than on that couch.

"One drink won't hurt." Clint says, pulling two bottles from the box by his feet.

"I'm working," Phil says, "I really can't."

"One drink won't hurt." Clint repeats, holding out one of the bottles to Phil, as he pops the top off of his own against the coffee table.

Phil is sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand before he quite knows what he's done, but like Clint said, one drink won't hurt.

 

"It's just none of their fucking business!" Clint says, frowning, "Why do they care that my Dad was an asshole or that I was a  orphan, or that I ran away to join the circus?"

Phil has taken off his suit jacket, rolled up the sleeves on his shirt and undone the top two buttons, he's on his third beer, which he knows is a mistake, but Clint is lounging comfortably on the couch, limbs loose and sprawled into Phil's space despite the slight pinch above his brow and Phil can't quite bring himself to care.

"You ran away to join the circus?" Phil asks, his tongue loosened by alcohol.

"Me and my brother." Clint says, "I was ten, we were sick of the orphanage, so when the circus came to town, Barney suggested we see if they'd take us. And they did."

"Living the dream." Phil muses.

"Hardly," Clint snorts, "Still, there aren't many options for a deaf orphan and his delinquent brother, and we could have done a lot worse."

"Hey," Phil says, brow furrowing, "that deaf orphan is an internationally known pop star now."

Clint laughs, "True." He says, "I haven't done too bad for myself, have I. At least one of the Barton boys has ended up alright. Though I'm sure Dad would be pissed that it was the dumb one."

"You're not dumb." Phil says, still frowning.

"I know that now." Clint assures him, taking another swig from his bottle, "but I wasn't as quick to pick things up as Barney to begin with, and then when my hearing was damaged... Well, abusive alcoholic fathers tend not to be interested in learning ASL."

Clint finishes his story with a shrug, and another long pull of beer.

"Fuck him." Phil says emphatically, "Fuck him and anyone else who ever made you feel like you weren't perfect."

Clint barks a laugh, "You'll be fucking a lot of people if you want to take that on. You sure you're up for that?"

"Only one way to find out." Phil surprises himself by saying.

Clint laughs again, and then he's putting his beer down on the coffee table and gently taking Phil's bottle to place it next to his. Clint slips his now empty hand around the back of Phil's neck, leaning forward slowly, telegraphing his intentions clearly to give Phil time to back away if he wants to, and then Clint's lips are on his and it's everything Phil had hoped.

The kiss is chaste, if a little sloppy, and then Clint is tipping his head just a touch further and everything seems to slot into place. The hand Clint has on Phil's neck slides down to the small of Phil's back while the hand on the back of the couch moves to replace it. Phil lifts his own hands and grips at Clint's t-shirt as Clint slowly shifts Phil to straddle his hips. Phil breaks away, breathing heavily, lips still tingling.

"So, you're not straight then." Phil, says, still breathless.

"What?" Clint asks, dropping his head to Phil's shoulder and mouthing at Phil's neck distractedly.

"Nothing," Phil decides, "just keep doing that."

Clint hums against Phil's neck, slipping his hands down further to cup Phil's ass, hands kneading gently into the muscle. There's a quiet voice in the back of Phil's mind reminding him of the age difference, and of the fact that he's at work and that this is a truly terrible idea, but he ignores it in favour of gripping Clint's incredible biceps and tipping Clint's face back up to capture his mouth again. Clint responds enthusiastically, bucking his hips up against Phil's in a move that seems almost accidental. Phil, in response, grinds down and Clint whimpers into his mouth, letting his head fall back against the couch.

"Bed." Clint decides, opening one eye to catch Phil's response.

Phil nods, and then Clint is lifting him up, one hand under each of Phil's thighs, and Phil has half a second to wrap his arms around Clint's neck before he's being carried into Clint's room, and dumped unceremoniously on the bed. Clint surges forward after him, laying his warm bulk on top of Phil and bracketing Phil's head with his forearms. Clint kisses Phil fiercely once more before sitting up, straddling Phil's hips this time, and moving his hands to undo the button on Phil's slacks. It's only a few seconds before Clint has Phil's cock in his hand, stroking his fingers gently up to the tip, and biting his lip in a way that he must know makes him look absolutely sinful. Phi, groans and lifts his hips from the bed, bucking into clint's hand without conscious effort.

"Fuck," Clint says, shutting his eyes for a moment, "do you know how long I've wanted to blow you?"

"We've only known each other for a week." Phil manages to point out.

"Guess it's been for a week, then." Clint replies with a shrug, gripping phil's dick firmly and tugging.

"What's stopping you then?" Phil asks on a groan.

Clint barks out a laugh, then shimmies down the bed and takes Phil's dick into his mouth in one movement. Phil makes an undignified sort of noise which he blames on the beer, and on the fact that he hasn't had anything more than his own hand for far too long, but which is more likely due to the fact that Clint is exceptionally good at this. It's an embarrassingly short time before Phil is tugging at Clint's hair in warning, and shooting down Clint's throat.

Clint sits up slowly, with eyes half shut and a wicked smirk. He drags his thumb across his bottom lip and his smirk grows into a smile as Phil surges forward to kiss him again.

Phil notes with some surprise that Clint had, at some point, pulled his own cock from his jeans and Phil takes it gently in hand as Clint deepens the kiss.

All it takes is a few firm strokes before Clint cries out and shoots across both of their stomachs.

 

Phil wakes up with Clint wrapped around him, memories of the night before flooding him. He spends a moment silently panicking (he's fucked up so bad. He's going to lose his job. Oh God what has he done?) before Clint stirs against him.

"Mornin' Gorgeous" Clint says, smiling lazily.

Phil gapes at him for a moment, unsure of what to say in response, but Clint seems to pick up on his discomfort, propping himself up on one elbow to look down at Phil.

"What's wrong?" Clint asks, brow furrowing.

"Nothing," Phil says, feeling a pang of guilt at having worried Clint, "It's just- This was a mistake."

"Oh." Clint says, visibly deflating, "Oh, I see. We were drunk, it happened, now let's forget about it?"

"Something like that." Phil agrees, even as everything in him screams at him to take it back.

"Fine." Clint says, "That's just- That's fucking fine then."

Before Phil has a chance to say anything else, Clint is dragging himself from the bed. He's in the shower with the bathroom door locked before Phil manages to extract himself from the covers.

 

Seeing the Avengers off at the airport is uncomfortable, to say the least. Phil and Clint stand awkwardly to the side while the others say goodbye to their respective charges. Maria gets a kiss on the cheek from Sam, which she responds to with a bright laugh and a swat on the arm. Jimmy gets a hug that honestly looks painful, and which lifts him off the floor but he seems pleased rather than uneasy. Jasper and Tony are laughing about something away from the rest of the group, which can only mean something bad, but proves that even they are leaving on good terms. Nick and Steve, of course, are the picture of professionalism, parting with a firm handshake and a promise to keep in touch.

Clint leaves without a word to Phil, a fact which to Phil's dismay does not go unnoticed. Luckily, he is momentarily spared from awkward questioning by Pepper's Request for a full, debrief from each of them.

Throughout the meeting, Phil can feel the others shooting him curious looks as each of them relays the events of the week. When Phil's turn comes up, he gives the important details, leaving out anything that may implicate him, or give the others some idea of why he and Clint left on such poor terms, but he can tell that the others know what he's doing. They're very unlikely to let him get away with it.

True to form, as soon as Pepper has thanked them for their time and left to catch her own plane to the next stop on the tour, Phil's four coworkers all turn to him expectantly.

"So?" Maria asks, breaking their momentary stalemate.

"So what?" Phil asks blandly, though he knows it won't be that easy.

"What happened?" Jimmy asks, crossing his arms, "and if you say 'nothing', so help me I will call Thor and let him deal with you."

From what Phil knows of Thor's easygoing nature, this isn't much of a threat, but Phil can only deny that something happened for so long before they get it out of him, and dragging this out isn't going to do him any favours.

"I made a mistake." Phil finally admits, "and then in trying to fix that mistake, I made another mistake."

"So you slept with him." Jasper says, matter-of-factly.

Phil always forgets how perceptive Jasper can be, and is nodding in acquiescence before he realises what he's admitting to.

"Dammit, Phil." Nick says, rolling his eyes.

"I know." Phil says, "Why do you think I was trying to fix it?"

"Sleeping with him wasn't the mistake." Maria explains, patting Phil's arm.

"It was unprofessional." Jasper points out, though he doesn't seem too bothered.

"It was" Maria agrees, "but we've all done equally stupid things while at work. The mistake was whatever you did to make him leave like that. He poor man looked like someone had been killed."

"I think I fucked up." Phil admits.

"No shit." Nick says, "now what are you going to do about it?"

 

Phil does nothing, for a very long time.

He's not proud of this, but he's not sure what he should do, what he can do, what Clint would even want him to do. He's afraid, as much as he doesn't want to admit it.

He's drinking with Jasper again, in a bar this time, with low lighting and dark wood furniture, when things finally come to a head. Phil is on his third beer, the same brand he'd shared with Clint, and he's just drunk enough to ask Jasper if he's heard anything from Tony.

"You mean has Tony said anything about Clint." Jasper corrects him, and Phil is too far gone to deny it.

"Has he?" Phil asks instead.

"Only that he's been a drag since New York and no one can figure out what happened." Jasper says, "I'd say he misses you, if it wasn't risking getting my head bitten off."

"He doesn't miss me." Phil says, "If he missed me he could call."

"You mean the way you've called him?" Jasper asks, raising an eyebrow, "You're both more stubborn than the other. You obviously love him, just talk to him before you drive the rest of us completely crazy."

Phil has his mouth open to argue, but it suddenly hits him that Jasper is completely right. Phil does love Clint, however terrible an idea that may be, and he'll regret it forever if he doesn't do something about it now.

"Fine." Phil says, "What do I do?"

 

As it turns out, Phil's traitorous coworkers have developed a plan behind his back, and as soon as Nick is informed that Phi, is finally ready to swallow his pride and take action, he's granted a full week's vacation starting immediately, and given a plane ticket to LA.

He steps away from the baggage claim at LAX suddenly at a loss, but is washed in relief as he spots Steve and Sam waving at him from near the door. Phil smiles despite himself as he makes his way over. Steve takes his bag immediately, while Sam explains the LA end of the plan. Tony is waiting with a car to take him back to their townhouse where Phil will be left to deal with Clint in privacy. Apparently Thor's contribution is having rented out a pub for the evening, in case things go well and hey'd like to celebrate. Or in case things go poorly and Phil would like to drink to forget.

Phil spends a moment stunned that a group of celebrities are his invested in his love life, but then Tony is honking the horn of  tiny little sportscar and Seve is shutting the trunk and gesturing for Phil to climb into the passenger's seat so he goes without further thought.

The trip to the townhouse takes far less time than Phil would have liked, and he's booted unceremoniously out of the car in the driveway with a promise that Tony will drop his bag off at his hotel, then come back in case of disaster. Phil shuts the door and steels himself as the car drives away. He can't stand in the yard forever, though, and ultimately he manages to work up the courage to make his way to the door and ring the bell.

Phil isn't sure whether the quiet thumping he can hear is coming from inside the house, or from his heart, but the door flies open all the same, and Phil is finally face to face with Clint.

Except it isn't Clint who answers the door. It's a young woman with bright red curls and a dangerously patient look on her face.

"Oh," Phil says, blinking in surprise, "I'm sorry, I was told I would find Clint Barton here?"

"You must be Phil." She says with a warmth that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"I am." Phil replies warily.

"I hope you know what you've done." The woman says, making no move to let Phil into the house.

"I do." Phil assures her.

"And what are you going to do about it?" She asks.

"I'm going to fix it." Phil says, which seems to be the right answer.

"His bedroom is the top floor, last door on the left. Knock hard, he won't be wearing his hearing aids." She says, stepping aside, "and Phil?"

Phil pauses at the foot of the stairs.

"Thank you." The woman says, and this time her smile seems genuine, "He'll be glad you came."

Phil nods in response and starts his climb, finally coming to a stop outside a deceptively normal looking door.

"I'm not in the mood, Tasha." Clint calls through the door as Phil knocks firmly.

"Clint?" Phil says, but before he can continue, Clint is flinging the door open.

"Phil." Clint says.

It's not a question, but Phil nods anyway. Clint's face does an odd sort of squish, then shuts down into a clearly practiced blankness.

"What can I do for you?" Clint asks, his voice carefully mild.

"I've made a mistake." Phil says, determined to bite the bullet, despite how uncomfortable and off-balance he feels standing in the hallway.

"Oh?" Clint says,though his resolve seems to be cracking, which emboldens Phil to continue.

"I should never have pretended that I didn't care for you." Phil starts, "I was worried about the consequences of what we did and I took the first out that presented itself. I'm sorry."

"You should be." Clint says, but there's a small smile lingering around the corners of his mouth and Phil allows himself to smile as well.

"I have the week off." Phil tells Clint, "and I would like to take you out, on a proper date, if you would be willing."

"If I would- Are you kidding me?" Clint says, suddenly all fire.

"Of course,"Phil says, heart dropping into his stomach, "I understand. It's my mistake and I have to live with the consequences."

"Jesus, Phil, just listen to me!" Clint says, "Stop deciding how I feel and let me finish."

Clint pauses as though waiting for Phil to interrupt again, but Phil nods and Clint continues.

"I do want you to take me out." Clint starts, "I've wanted you to take me out since we met. I want you to stay here for the week and to be there when I wake up and to meet Natasha who I assume let you in, but who probably made a very terrifying first impression."

Phil has to nod to that as well.

"But most of all, I want you to kiss me right now." Clint finishes, stepping into the hallway.

Clint gently grips Phil's hips and backs him slowly to the wall opposite his door where he presses their bodies together from chest to knee and kisses Phil firmly and deeply. Phil presses back, rolls his hips for more contact, and is interrupted before he can get any further by the sound of slow clapping coming from the top of the stairs.

"Natasha." Clint says, burying his face in Phil's neck, "Can we help you?"

"I came up to see if I needed to bang your heads together, but I see you've taken care of that yourselves." Natasha says, winking at Phil.

"Yes we have." Clint says, "And if you would leave us alone, I would like to bang other things."

"Actually," Phil says, "I think your friends are waiting for us at a bar."

"You can bang Phil later." Natasha adds, "Tony's called four times already for an update."

"Well I guess we can make an appearance." Clint says slowly, "But definitely banging later, right?"

"Definitely banging later." Phil agrees with a grin.

  
  
  


"That should be the last of the boxes." Clint says, setting the box down in the kitchen and stretching.

Phil watches for a moment as Clint's shirt pulls up, revealing abs and a trail of blonde hair leading down to the waistband of his jeans.

"That one goes in the bedroom." Phil says.

"It's labelled 'spoons etc.'" Clint points out.

"Exactly." Phil says "Kitchen things are labelled 'Kitchen'. 'Spoons etc.' refers to the limited edition collectable set of Captain America spoons released in 1968 for Captain America's 50th birthday."

"If I had known you had fifteen boxes of Captain America memorabilia, I might have thought twice before asking you to move in with me." Clint laughs, heaving the box back into his arms.

"You love it." Phil says, following Clint on his way to the bedroom.

"I love you." Clint says, "the rest, I tolerate."

"I love you, too." Phil replies, leaning in for a quick kiss as Clint drops the box unceremoniously on the bed.

Clint deepens the kiss, biting gently at Phil's bottom lip, but Phil pulls away as Clint grabs Phil's ass with both hands.

"I am not having sex with you while Thor is shifting furniture in my living room." Phil says.

"Thor is loud enough to cover any noise we might make." Clint says, "and I was promised that we could christen the bed today."

"I said we could christen the bed tonight." Phil corrects, "after everyone has left. Thor may be loud enough to cover any noises, but you know that as soon as she knows what we're doing, Natasha will show up just to interrupt."

"That was one time, Phil, when are you going to let that go?" Clint asks.

"As soon as she apologizes, I'll believe it was an accident." Phil says.

"You'll be waiting a long time." Clint says, "Tasha hasn't apologized for anything in the time I've known her. Not even the thing with the glitter."

"I thought the glitter was Tony." Phil says, remembering Pepper's story.

"Tony takes credit for it, but who do you think got him into my room?" Clint asks, "Tasha has a varied and surprising skillset."

"All the more reason we're not having sex with any of them in the apartment." Phil says with finality.

"I suppose that makes sense." Clint agreed, dropping his hands from Phil's ass and moving towards the door, "Are you ready to face the masses?"

"As long as you're with me?" Phil asks, "always."

**Author's Note:**

> Titled after the Backstreet Boys song of the same name because I'm old
> 
> You can find me on tumblr under the same name if you are so inclined  
> (Boxstorm.tumblr.com)


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